Finding out the dream
I was supposed to have my MMR jab on Monday 22nd January and the nurse refused to give it to me because I was late in my cycle. Now I was rather frustrated because with PCOS my cycle is never consistent and fluctuates drastically from month to month so I was not in the least bit concerned I was 2 days over the longest cycle I had ever had. Pregnancy didn’t even enter my mind, I’ve been there so many times in the last 2 years, done numerous test, been adamant I was, told Tom and prepared myself – only to see no line. And its soul crushing. So I refused to believe there was even a chance and said I would rebook the appointment in a couple of days when I had come on.
The next day was Tom’s birthday and still no sign of my period all day, so I started to wonder. I plucked up the courage and brought a pregnancy test, which I did when I got home (mainly cos I thought how incredible would it be to tell Tom if I was on his birthday) and I swore there was the faintest line there. But I mean so faint I couldn’t believe it and I reminded myself not to get my hopes up, put the test back in the cupboard and told myself if still nothing by Friday I would do another test. That night at dinner I stocked up on Pate, wine and rare steak just in case…then when we got home I had a funny turn. I never get funny turns. I felt nauseous, faint and hot and it passed in about ten minutes when I led down. But I knew instantly something was up. I am very in tune with my body and typically very healthy and rarely poorly so this was extremely out of the norm.
At work the next day I had an orange (still trying to be healthy) and the heartburn it gave me, made feel like I was going to puke. I don’t get heartburn when I am being healthy. I only ever get it from alcohol, takeaways and naughty food, so it seemed impossible I would have such heartburn when I was being so good! By Wednesday night I had a dull ache to one side in my tummy but definitely not a period pain and by now I was pretty confident I was pregnant, still I had not uttered a word to Tom, I wanted to be sure. But I did however order a baby onesie online that said ‘Born to watch rugby with my daddy’ as I thought this could be a late birthday present and if I turned out not to be, then I would stash it in my drawers and never look at it again probably!
So it’s Friday morning, still no period. About time I pluck up the courage to do another test. I take out the packet and the test I took on Tuesday is still in there (not sure why I kept it) and there is now a solid definite positive line on it. Time to take another one to be sure, the packet says wait 1 minute before checking, it barely needed 10 seconds before the positive line shot out of the screen! There is was in blue line form a positive pregnancy test. I had doubted I would ever see one and here it was undeniably staring back at me. How had this miracle happened? When had we even had sex?
The onesie arrived that afternoon, so after work I explained to Tom that one of his birthday presents had arrived late and as he opened it reading the onesie, he just said ok cool. I think he thought I was taking the piss, rubbing salt in the wound. I had to fight back the tears as I said ‘You missed the point, I have something to tell you, I’m pregnant’ Of course he didn’t believe me! I had to show him the positive test and explain the whole week to him, but it’s fair to say we were in a bit of shock.
I will never forget though the look on his face, the surprise and delight all at once and the relief that I felt. It was like I had finally given him everything he ever wanted.
This was a momentous occasion and a terrifying one. I have never felt so anxious in all my life. The morning got off to a bad start when Tom had major car trouble, so by the time we got to the hospital I was distracted but slightly stressed. At this point I hadn’t seen the midwife the receptionist was a bit sassy as to why I didn’t have any notes even though it wasn’t my fault! I ended up having to see the community midwife who kindly explained all the bloodwork and scans I would have that day, which of course I consented to. She set us up a note pack, handed it to us and pointed us back to the waiting room, then 2 hours passed….bearing in mind you need a full bladder to have your scan, I now hadn’t had a wee for 3 hours. I was in agony. Eventually they called us through and apologised very honestly telling us they had forgot us! Tom made a joke that this was a sign as we hadn’t seen the midwife and they forgot us at the hospital, but we took a laid back approach to it all, no point worrying about stuff I can’t control.
I could not fault the maternity team at the hospital and she did spend ages on the scan with us, showing every hand, foot, limb and measuring bang on for due date of 25th April. Baby was moving lots to my amazement and has a cute pout (definitely gets that from me) and when the nurse commented it has a nice big belly Tom said ‘definitely mine then’. I think he was shocked it was a fully formed baby, think he was expecting more of an alien type blob, but to see it move and each little hand was really quite charming. Apparently my face was a picture and Tom was just staring at me most of the time, wishing he had filmed it because I was pulling some interesting faces. It was a mixture of disbelief, shock, relief and happiness and that followed with tears. How did we get here? How did we go from being told we can’t conceive without help to producing a beautiful healthy baby?? It’s quite a lot to get your head round and its taking a fair bit of getting used to!
They kindly did all my bloodwork and weighed, when to my delight I found I had lost 5 pounds – morning sickness has its advantages! Only I would spend months on strict healthy eating plan and exercise losing a minimal pound a week to conceive naturally, have a bump and lose weight!
Ultimately we left relieved and with a whole stream of photos of the alien baby looking thing wriggling in my uterus.