Accepting Defeat

I don't know if its because we are living apart right now, whilst we wait for our new house, or if its because I have had time to process everything in my own time; but I have come to accept that I am half a woman without Tom. As a couple who do not indulge in any sort of PDA and are not particularly affectionate (majority of our marriage is taking the piss out of each other), this is a big thing for me to admit. My husband it would appear is a calming character over my life and has more influence than perhaps I wanted to admit. I like to think I am a strong independent woman who could conquer the world if needed. But I am learning I only feel this way because I am allowed to feel this way, because Tom lets me be me and gives me the space I need, whilst always being close enough to catch me. These last few weeks we have lived apart has left me to run away with my own thoughts and overthink, stress and worry about a whole host of things I would never worry about typically. Maybe its because we have so much going on at the moment with the move and the dog being poorly and simple change to routine but to say I am looking forward to this weekend and getting the keys to our own space is an understatement. I crave that familiarity, that comfort and calmness he brings. It gives me reassurance and hope that whatever we are about to face, he has my back, he is my rock and we can get through whatever. I know he will be strong for me, if I do not feel up to it. Now I have come to accept that, I felt it important to share, because we must always be honest with ourselves and quite frankly he deserves a medal!