This is the elephant in the room, the thing no one wants to admit or talk about, cos frankly its too raw. But I’m going to face this head on in the hope I can start to move away from it, because I don’t think its healthy to hold onto it. Every single day I wake up and look at Toms face and I see failure. Closely followed by the thought of please don’t leave me. Every time I look at him I think I am failing him, I can’t provide the children he so desperately wants, right now.