I don't know if its because we are living apart right now, whilst we wait for our new house, or if its because I have had time to process everything in my own time; but I have come to accept that I am half a woman without Tom. As a couple who do not indulge in any sort of PDA and are not particularly affectionate (majority of our marriage is taking the piss out of each other), this is a big thing for me to admit. My husband it would appear is a calming character over my life

Tom had to call and get his results over the phone from the fertility clinic and I am sure he would admit he was a little anxious. When he called and spoke to the nurse she advised him that they look for 15 million sperm and Tom has 106 million and they look for 55% of them to be swimming but he has 77% of them swimming. Toms response to her (I shit you not) was "So I'm a pounding machine" I can only imagine her awkward giggle as she said no one had ever described it like tha

This is the most important thing and the thing we are so lucky to have. Ours is rock solid, the number of people who have offered to come to any future appointments with me or just make tea have been endless and I am so grateful. For me I have realised the best thing is to talk, talk about all of it, the hard bits the scary bits and especially the shit bits! A good chat with my mum reminded me she is there to cry with me, to listen and try and understand. No-one can understan

Although I have not had my fertility appointment yet (its this week) I have researched and googled everything I possibly can. Everything seems to suggest I would have PCOS, my skin, my weight gain (happened when I came off the pill) and the 2 hormone inbalances of Testosterone and Prolactin are all indicators. I have started to come to terms with it and know I have plenty of options. I am now eager to face things head on, I am ready for the challenge, we can do this, Perhaps